Foreword: Below is the story and true account of how I as a teenage boy became obsessed with my Dad and developed darker and darker urges that I documented in my diary. Eventually, it all led up to a night that would change my life forever. I'm 22 years old now. It has been eight years since this happened, and I have had plenty of time to look back on it, to reflect on it and let it fully sink in. This is probably going to be the best time to write it down. Look, I don't want to sugarcoat or exaggerate what happened. I don't want to make it seem like a dream scenario or make things up for dramatic effect. If you read this, what you are getting is an accurate description of true events, with the only modifications coming from my attempt to write this into a fluid, cohesive and readable story. Now, lets get into it:
I guess the story begins with my "sexual awakening", which happened sometime around when I turned 12 years of age. It's when I first discovered the joys of masturbation and the wish to see people without their clothes on. However, about one year later, I had fully realized that, while girls were cute and I developed frequent crushes on them, it was men that truly got my blood pumping and my dick to stand to attention. Not boys, I mean *adult* men. I had no problem finding porn online, and it didnt take long until I was browsing the more hardcore sites. Seeing all those muscular men, with their thick veiny cocks and hairy chests got my head spinning. Another contributing factor to the dark desires I was developing was the crowd I hung out with. You see, my best friend's older brother had a group of friends that were your stereotypical group of rowdy troublemakers. Frequently, me and my friend would hang out with them as they loitered around, drinking, smoking, you name it. They would often talk about sex and women, and what especially stuck in my mind was when they talked about rape. They laughed and joke about how women *wanted* to be raped. That they were biologically programmed to desire it. That the pain might cause them to kick and scream, but their pussies would be wetter than ever. I remember getting serious erections when this topic was discussed. But it wasn't the idea of raping a girl that aroused me, it was the idea of being on the recieving end.
My situation at home was nothing particularly out of the ordinary. I lived alone with my Dad since many years back, in the small duplex house of a medium sized town in Sweden. My Mom and Dad had divorced when I was younger, and my Mom had moved back across the border to Denmark where she was originally from, but we stayed in frequent contact. My relationship with my Dad was undramatic, but maybe not super close. We didn't often spend quality time together, we mostly just navigated our lives on auto pilot around each other. At first, I had no feelings of sexual attraction towards my Dad. However, in terms of his appearance, he wasn't far of from the type of man that I enjoyed watching in online porn. He was a carpenter, broad shouldered and strong, with arms like logs. He wasn't lean by any means though, his habit of snacking and drinking beer in front of the television had certainly given him quite a protruding gut. I knew he was wearing quite a lot of fur on his body, but I rarely saw him undressed enough to spot it. It had never crossed my mind that I would be attracted to him in any way, but that was all about to change one fateful night. A night that would put me on a path that I could never have anticipated the dire results of.
It was past my bedtime. My Dad would nearly always stay up watching television in the livingroom after I had gone to bed. The living room was practically attached to the kitchen in the small house we lived in, so you could clearly look out over the living room, which doubled as a dining room, if you stood behind the kitchen counter. That night, I couldn't sleep and made the decision to go fetch a glass of water, which wasn't out of the ordinary for me to do. When I turned the corner to the kitchen I immediately froze. My Dad was sitting in his usual spot, fast asleep in the reclining chair by the tv. However, what was not usual by any means, was that he sat there nearly completely undressed. His pants were down at his ankles and his shirt had been tossed on the arm rest. That's when something caught my eyes. His cock. It was right out in the open. It was the first time I had seen my Dad's cock in years, and certainly the first time I had seen anyones cock in real life since developing strong sexual desires. I immediately got hard, and my head was spinning. I couldn't compose myself. I just kept staring at it, where it hung flaccid between my Dads hairy legs. He had clearly been jerking off. Now, from where I stood behind the kitchen counter, I couldn't get the best look, due to the distance and the dimly lit livingroom. Still in disbelief, I decided I had to take a closer look. I tip-toed around the kitchen counter and onto the carpeted living room floor, until I was about two meters away from it. I could see it clearly now. It was thick, even in its flaccid state. It had a prominent vain running up the side of it, all the way up to the partly pulled back foreskin where a thick purple head poked out. The balls hung low and looked sweaty, covered in fuzzy hair that encircled his whole manhood. I cannot describe how profound and stunning the sight of it felt to me. My heart was beating fast. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to touch it, smell it, taste it. But ofcourse, I was too afraid of how my Dad would react to do anything. Thankfully, my mobile phone and I were practically attached at the hip, so I naturally had it with me. In one decisive move, I snapped a picture of my Dad's junk before I quickly retreated back to my room. Due to the dim lighting and not using the flash, it was an unfortunatley grainy picture, but oh, how it would become the very altar of my obsession in the year ahead.
This is the part of the story where I have to mention my diary. You see, I had been keeping a diary since even before my parents divorce. My mom and aunt had introduced the concept to me and my cousin, and we both started excitedly journaling our inner thoughts in them. Yes, I know, it might seem surprising that a teenage boy who hung out with a tough crowd of older delinquents would keep up a habit of writing in a diary. If that fact had leaked to my friends, I would be bullied and ostracized completely. At any rate, I would document the most noteworthy events of my life along with all of my thoughts and desires. As my sexuality blossomed, it's inclusion in my diary grew. Even as my desires grew more taboo and extreme, I would write them all down in my diary. Initially, I indended to include a whole bunch of entries from my diary in this story, but I have decided to keep the story as concise as I could make it. Nontheless, I will still show you a few excerpts. Keep in mind that these have been translated from Swedish, so they might be a little different from their original versions. What you are about to read will hopefully fully encapsulate how my sexual obsession of my Dad took shape and how I became more and more fixated on becoming his rape victim.
These first couple of excerpts were written by me at the age of 12 - 13, which was before I caught my Dad naked, and they aren't too "spicy" yet, but they show my budding sexuality taking shape. September 21, 2016: "I think I am in love with Sophia. She is the prettiest girl I have ever seen! But for some reason she doesn't give me a hard on. I have tried to jerk off to a picture of her but I just start thinking about something else. I keep thinking about dicks, and about older guys. It is the only thing I can think of when I jerk off. I think something is wrong with me. Im not gay, I'm in love with Sophia, but I only get horny from thinking about guys." November 15, 2016: "I hung out with Jacob's brother and his friends again. They had made a fire in a tire behind the bleachers of the football field and were hanging out smoking and drinking redbull. They always laugh at me. Johnny thinks I look like a pussy. But it is kinda fun hanging out with them and hearing them talk. Johnny says he raped a girl last week. Kevin and the others said he was full of shit, because he wouldn't tell them who it was. He said she peed herself when he raped her. Kevin told him to shut the fuck up, but I wanted to hear more. Jacob looked uncomfortable, but I liked listening. I actually got a boner that I had to hide from the others. It was hot." March 3, 2017: "I found a super hot video online. They were actually speaking swedish in it. I have never seen that before. It was a girl who was tied up in bed, getting spanked and fucked in the ass with a dildo. She kept saying "Nej, Nej, Aj, Sluta!" (No, No, Ouch, Stop). It was so hot. I wish I was her. The man spanking her looked really old, but he didn't show his face. He was kinda fat but still hot. I liked hearing the girl scream in Swedish."
The next excerpts were written after I caught my Dad naked, when I was 13 - 14. April 30, 2017: "I have jerked off to the picture of Dad pretty much every night. I can't stop thinking about it. I wonder what it smells like. I wish I could see it again. If I did, maybe I could smell it without waking him." May 1, 2017: "When dad wasn't home I snuck into the bathroom to find a pair of his underwear in the laundry basket. I was really horny and I found a few of his used breifs there. I felt kinda dirty when I sniffed them and it didn't even smell that much, or maybe it did, I don't know. I was hoping it would smell more, or that there would be cum stains in them. I still jerked off to them, but it didnt feel as good as I had hoped. I wonder what my Dad does when he washes my dirty underwear..." August 28, 2017: "I started talking to a man on a chatroom and he wanted to videochat with him. I was a little hesitant but I did it. He was older but I don't know how old, he was lean and had a hairy chest. He told me to strip for him, which I did. He wanted me to show him my ass and spread my cheeks, which I also did. He said I had a tasty looking "boyhole". That's when I asked him if he wanted to rape me. He laughed at me and said sure. Then he told me to put a finger inside my ass, which I also did. But when he started asking where I lived I pussied out and disconnected from the videochat. I kinda regret that." September 2, 2017: I wan't to be raped. Like really really. I watch a lot of hardcore videos, but even they don't feel enough because they aren't for real, its acting. I want to see real rape. Someone getting ass raped against their will. I think it would be nice to be raped and beaten. I wish my Dad would rape me with his fat cock." January 18, 2018: I can't stop thinking about it. I think about it at school, and its hard to hide my hard-on. I think about it on the bus, I think about it at home. Yesterday we visited the swimming hall with class and there were several naked men in the changing room. I had to hide my boner behind my towel. I wanted to go in there after my classmates had left and hope to be raped by the men there. But ofcourse I chickened out. Not like it was going to happen anyway." April 10, 2018: "I can't fucking take it anymore. I need Dad to rape me. I need to be raped by my hunk of a Dad with his thick cock and his strong arms and his fat hairy belly. I wish he would wake me up in the middle of the night by choking me and fucking me and raping me for hours the whole night. Gah, I can't think straight!".
It had been over a year since I saw my Dad naked in the recliner, with his thick dangling cock searing itself into my memory. At this point, I didn't just want to "sleep with" my Dad, I wanted something darker, something carnal, something masochistic. I wanted him to *rape* me. My diary shows how it was no longer a simple fantasy of mine, it was a desperate *need* that would never go away. I had been racking my brain for months, trying to figure out the best way I could make it happen, somehow. Let's face it, I would never have the guts to approach my Dad and ask him straight up to rape me. In what world would that ever have the desired effects anyway? I didn't even know if he was attracted to men or boys. I had a sneaking suspicion that he actually did, maybe that was even the reason why Mom and him divorced, but I had no proof. Really, the only solid clue was that he had not brought home another woman since divorcing my Mom, and sometimes he would be out during the late evening without really saying what he was doing. I was hoping that he might be out to sleep with men, but I had no true reason to believe that was the case. Even if it was, that was no reason to believe he would ever want to sleep with his underage son, much less force himself on him. Anyway, I had finally after many sleepless nights come up with a plan. I would reveal my diary to him. The diary that I kept extremely secret and that I had documented over a years worth of obsessive thought in, obsessive, depraved thoughts about *him*. And I would make one, final, entry into my diary, this time explicitly adressed to him.
"Dad, I am assuming that you have now read the previous parts of my diary, and I am now speaking directly to you. I have no idea how you will react to reading this, my only wish is that you take it completely seriously. What you have read is completely true, everything in it is written from the bottom of my heart. My deepest, darkest thoughts, all true. Showing it to you is not something I do lightly, it is something I have thought about for a long time, and I have found no better alternative. I cannot leave these things unsaid, and I cannot bottle up my desires any longer. It is up to you what you want to do with this information. I realize it might be hard for you to read, and you might be disgusted, concerned or angry. I just want you to TRULY consider what I have to say, and I will then accept any decision you make. Dad, I want you to rape me. Not just fuck me, not roleplay. I want you to rape me. I want it to hurt. I don't want you to stop no matter if I cry or scream or say "stop". I have wanted this for over a year, and every day my desire grows stronger. I need it. Maybe if I get to experience it, it will finally go away, or maybe I not. If you don't rape me, I don't know what I'll do. Out of desperation, I might have to seek a rapist somewhere else, risking to be raped by someone who does not care about my health or life. If you rape me, atleast I know that my life would be safe in your hands. When you have finished reading this, please think it through. Im hoping that the next time I see you, you will enter my room and have an answer for me. Will you rape me or will you let me down?"
That was the final time I ever wrote anything in my diary. Now, all that was left to do was give it to my dad. It was a friday. I was home alone as I wrote the final entry, until my dad came home around five a clock. He made dinner for us, we ate, mostly in silence, then he stood up to do the dishes. I retreated into my bedroom to retrieve my diary. My heart was racing, I was incredibly nervous. Then I left my room and went back to the kitchen. "Dad, I have something I want you to read, " I said, holding my diary behind my back. "Schoolwork?" he asked flatly. "No, its much more important, " I responded. My dad turned around from the dishes and gave me a slightly puzzled look. I put my diary on the kitchen counter. "I want you to read my diary" I said with a lump in my throat. "Has something happened?" he asked with slight concern. "No, not really. I just want you to read it from the beginning, or, no, from the middle, from when I was 12, " I said with a nervous voice. "From when you were 12? everything? How much have you written?" he asked. "Quite a lot, but it is important that you read it all, really! You must read it all!" I said in a worried sharp tone, "And promise not to start out of order!" I added. If he didn't read the whole thing he would never understad what I wanted or how serious I was. "Alright, I will, leave it there and I'll read it when I'm finished with the dishes." I nodded, put the diary down on the counter, and then I turned heel towards my room. What awaited was the longest most suspenseful hours of my life. I sat in my bed, heart racing, head spinning. For hours waiting, waiting, waiting...
Finally, I heard a knock on the door and my heart skipped a beat. Then a note slid under the door as I heard Dads footsteps walk away down the corridor. After collecting myself, I got up from the bed to pick up the note. My mind was racing, what would the note say? This was it probably it, in a moment I would likely know if my Dad was going to disown me, put me in therapy, or if he was actually going to grant me my fucked-up wish. I opened the note, which was folded two times, to a few sentences written in bold marker. Translated to english, it said something like "This is very serious. This is your last chance to think long and hard, there is no going back. Are you SURE you want to go through with this, and do you swear to accept the consequenses?". At the bottom of the note was witten the words "yes" and "no", and it was clear he wanted me to mark my answer clearly. I didn't hesitate. I grabbed a pen from my desk, circled the "yes" boldly, slid it under the door and waited... and I'm to this day not sure if it was the biggest mistake of my life, or something that *needed* to happen. My heart was pounding. The note sure made it seem like Dad was willing to do the depraved thing which I was asking him to do, but who knew if it was true. Was it going to happen now? Later in the night? Another day? I heard Dads footsteps approaching the door again and I saw from the subtle shadow beneath the door that he picked up the note. I was not going to have to wait long to find out...
Suddenly the door flung open and my dad came barrelling into the room. He was already fully naked. He looked menacing where he stood in the doorway, with the light from the corridor behind him emphasizing his silhouette. His broad shoulders, muscular arms and legs, a large protruding beer gut, and finally that thick hairy cock dangling between his legs. I wish I had more time to admire him, but before I had time to react, he came charging forwards towards me. I had no idea what was about to happen to me, and I was not ready. He grabbed ahold of my throat with his large carpenter hands and pushed me hard into the wall by the back of my bed, practically pinning me to it. Before I could even attempt to catch my breath, he punched me hard right in the stomach. If I wasn't pinned to the wall, the gut punch would have made me fold like a deck chair. I didn't even register how it happened, but while I gasped in pain, somehow my dad was able to pull off my sweatpants and underwear in one fluid motion, revealing my adolescent cock to him. "Alright lay down!" my Dad growled at me and grabbed ahold of my balls and pulled hard on them as to yank me down. I yelped in pain. This was not what I had expected. It wasn't going the way I had imagined it. I tried to protests, tell him to stop, but before I could even finish my plea, he gave me a severe slap across the face. "Shut up!" he roared at me. "I haven't even started yet, I'm going to rape you so fucking hard, son. Like you wanted". I was about to say that this wasn't what I wanted but before I could even say "no" I recieved another merciless slap across the face.
I was now laying down, squirming, on the bed, my head elevated by my pillows. My Dad got on his knees over me and that is when he pushed his thick cock against my face. A moment I had dreamed about for over a year, and I couldn't even appreciate it in my almost panicked state. He wasn't fully erect yet. I guess a thick cock like that needs some extra time to pump full of blood. "Here is daddy's cock! Eh, is this what you wanted? Daddy's thick meat in your face!? You are going to regret that!" he barked at me. "Open your mouth, bitch!" he commanded as he put his thick fingers in my mouth and pried it open. I almost had time to be excited, until reality suddenly hit me again in full force. With no warning, my Dad put his cock in my mouth and thrust it down my throat. It hurt, I was choking, I tried to cough but his meat still lodged in my throat made it impossible. Then he pulled it out, and for a fraction of a second I could make a few desperate coughs, before he slid it down again. I choked and I drooled, as he thrust his cock up and down my throat. I tried to cry out, but my voice was muffled by the thick cock in my mouth and throat. My dad slapped my face again, not as hard as before, but it made me flinch. I desperately needed to cough but I was physically unable to do so with my father fucking my throat, which instead made my entire torso convulse in desperation. My arms were flailing against my Dad by sheer subconscious defensive reflexes, but he grabbed ahold of them with one hand and then he struck me again with the other before continuing to throat fuck me. My Dad was moaning in pleasure as I writhed in pain.
I couldn't tell you how long this went on for. 30 seconds? A couple of minutes? half an hour? I had honestly lost my sense of time. But finally, he stopped. He pulled out his hard cock out of my mouth, with a giant amount of drool pouring out along with it. It felt like I had been drowning under water and I was finally above the surface and could gasp for air. Dad stepped off the bed as I frantically sat up, bending over the side of my bed to spit and cough. My throat was swollen and it honestly felt like his cock was still lodged in there. After recovering slightly from the worst of the effects, I tried pleading with my Dad again. "Dad, please, I didn't mean... I don't want...". I could barely get the words out. I sounded like a lifelong smoker with a severe cold. My Dad was doing something by the foot of my bed as he retorted "Shut up! Im not done with you! It's going to get worse for you!". Upon hearing this, that is when I began to truly cry. The shock and adrenaline had postponed it but now it had finally sunk in. Dad told me to shut up again as he revealed what he had planned to do next. He was holding a leather belt from one of my used pair of pants on the floor. Suddenly he grabbed ahold of my ankles and violently dragged me down to the foot of my bed, where he proceeded to strap the leather belt tightly around my legs so that I couldn't move them. At this point, I was laying diagonally by the foot of my bed, as my dad once again approached my face with his fat dangling meat. "It felt real good raping your mouth, son. But I didn't cum yet." he said and pushed my head down the side of my bed into an almost vertical position, looking up at my dads hairy balls above my face. No, I couldn't take any more of that, I thought. I tried to turn my head away from him, but he slapped me hard across my cheek. "Stop squirming, cunt!" he spat at me as he once gain slid his cock down my throat. From this angle, his cock was able to slide even further down my throat. It felt like it was double the length of what it was before. However, somehow, it didn't hurt *as* much, like it was a more straight path for his cock to slither its way down now.
After yet another bout of facefucking for however long, my Dads moans started to become longer and louder. Finally I could feel him cumming a stream of thick hot sperm down my throat, which immediately tried to make it's way back up to my mouth as Dad pulled his cock out. Again, I desperately wanted to cough it all up, but my Dad quickly put his hand over my mouth and pinched my nostrils shut. "Swallow!" he roared at me, and I did. When he let go of my mouth and nose I immediately started heaving and retching like I had done before, with some residual cum dripping out both my nose and mouth. It wasn't exactly how I imagined my first taste of cum. "Did you like the taste of your Dads cum?" he asked and then took a few steps back and turned towards the door. "Lay still and shut up now." he said. "I'm going to fetch a few things". He turned to exit the room, as I kept sobbing and coughing. I couldn't tell you if I really formed a single comprehensive thought while my Dad was gone from the room, but he returned shortly. He was holding a couple of more belts in his right hand, and in the other he was grasping something else that I couldn't make out what it was. I was still wearing my t-shirt, only my pants and underwear had been removed before, but now Dad commanded me to take it of. I wanted to protest again, and plea for him to stop, but I didn't want to get punched or slapped again, so I complied.
Dad took a step forward and grabbed ahold of my arms with a firm painful grip, as he wound another belt tightly around them. The first attempt didnt work, as my thin wrists just slipped out straight away. Dad then pulled them extra tight and tied large knot with the belt ends, instead of using the belts lock mechanism. This made them chafe something fierce around my wrists, as I yet again began to whine louder. Then he revealed what he was holding in his other hands. It was a bunch of those plastic houshold bag clips that you use to seal plastic bags and different things with. He then sat down at the side of my bed and grabbed my right nipple. Then he pinched and twisted it hard. It hurt, but in comparison to the other pains I had just experienced, it didnt elicit the same agonized reaction. Then, my dad attempted to clamp down the bag clip over my nipple, but it kept slipping, until he took a big enough chunk of flesh and clasped it down hard. It hurt like hell as the whole plastic clip was bent around my squished nipple. My sobbing increased as my Dad did the same to the other nipple. "Ouch" I cried out in an involuntary reaction. "Im not done, lay down!" my father gnarled at me. He then went went down to my dick and roughly grabbed my foreskin. He then pulled on it as hard as he could to pull it above the head, where he then proceeded to put another plastic clip on it. It honestly hurt way less than you'd think, but the worst was yet to come. He then moved on to my balls, he grabbed a hold of a big chunk of the loose ballsack skin, twisted it hard an put a clamp on it, which also caught a bunch of my pubic hair at the same time. This stung severely, and I whimpered again. But he wasn't done. He had atleast 3 more clips in his hand, and he meant to use them all on my ballsack. With all clips finally attached to my body, I could feel my nervous system being practically overloaded with pain, not knowing what "threat" to focus on. My dad was stroking his cock while admiring his work, a little drop of cum still resting neatly at the ridge of his foreskin. He then stood up and seemed to be thinking about his next course of action.
"On your belly!" my Dad ordered me. I sobbed, fearing what he would do to me next. I was about to turn over, but my Dad must have thought I took too long, because suddenly I felt a sharp pain on my balls. Dad had used the third belt as a whip, landing a merciless blow across both my rod and balls. One of the plastic clips flung off. Every man who has ever accidentally hit his balls knows the numbing, jolting pain that now surged through my body as I yelped loudly. "On your fucking belly, I said! he roared. Rolling over with both legs and hands tied wasn't the most straight forward thing, but soon I was laying flat on my belly. The weight of my body pressing down against the clasps made them hurt even more. "Fuck, your ass looks juicy, I can't wait to rape it!" my dad exclaimed, you could hear the anticipation in his voice. "But first, lets change the color of it." he said. I understood right away what he meant. "No, please... please..." I whimpered. I don't know what sound I heard first, the sound of the leather belt whipping against my ass or the sound of my Dad shouting at me to shut up again. I screamed loudly at the impact. "Scream as much as you want to, It won't help you" my Dad taunted me. He brought the leather belt down on my ass again, and then again, and then again. Each strike felt worse than the one before. Again, Again, Again, whack, whack, whack. I have no idea how many times my Dad whipped me with that belt. He didn't stop at the ass, he struck me on my back and on the back of my thighs too. The pain came in waves, my body seemed to get used to it for a moment, before it inevitably started to hurt again. My Dad was indeed not phased by my screams.
"Alright, I'm ready for round two." he said suddenly, releasing the belt from his hand. I did not get a single moment to recover from the whipping before he climbed up on the bed and straddled my ass between his muscular legs. He then leaned over my back and reached out his arm to scoop up some saliva from where I had just been bawling and drooling during the whipping. He then coated his weapon in the lubricating drool. I could feel the sheer panic coming. I knew what my father was about to do. He was about to rape my ass, and if the previous activities was anything to go by, he would not take it easy with me. I had written in my diary clear as day that I wished for this, but after the borderline torture I had endured up to this point, I was no longer naive enough to think that I would in any way like it. "No, Dad! Not that! No more!" I finally mustered up the energy and courage to say. The words that my father said next has been seared into my memory forever. Roughly translated, he said "No, son, im going to rape you until you *break*". That last word was said with such malice and vileness that I had never heard my Dad express in my entire life, and it flooded me with fear.
I could feel my dad slide his meat up and down my asscrack and then he started to circle my rectum with the thick tip of his cock. I was crying hysterically at this point, but my dad just seemed to enjoy it as he moaned in anticipation. Then it happened. Without warning, without easing into it, without mercy, my dad thrust his cock into my ass. My brain was signalling me to scream at the top of my lungs, but nothing came out. I gasped, like a punctured tire I let out all the air in my lungs without making a single sound. Then, my dad pulled his cock back, which hurt just as much as when it went in. "Oh god fuck!" my dad moaned. "Take this my faggot son!" he continued. "I hope it hurts!". I could feel him spitting on my back as he spoke with heavy breath. He kept going. Hard. Really hard. I could feel his thick meat filling my ass and sliding deeper repeatedly. The pain was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I was whimpering and dryheaving like I was about to collapse after running a marathon. My Dad even reacted enough to it to give the first slight hint of concern for my well being, but he then promtly continued to pump my ass again, with no slowing down. I'll be honest, I'm not sure what happened next. I think I entered some sort of semi-conscious state, an out-of-body experience where all the pain my body was subjected to felt as if it was happening to someone else. I just distinctly remember hearing the muffled sounds of my Dad moaning "Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah" as he raped his little motionless son on his bed.
Next thing I know, im laying on my side with my rear end on a towel. I'm not sure I want to describe what had leaked out on that towel, but you can probably imagine. I was no longer tied up by the belts, nor did I have any plastic clips on my junk. My head was resting neatly in my fathers naked lap, with his thick flaccid cock a mere centimeter from my face. My father was holding the back of my head and resting his other hand on my throat. I remember I didn't know what to think. Was it over? I glanced up at my dad's face, and he met my glance with a stern look. I quickly looked down again, feeling either awkward or uneasy by his gaze. I felt like I had been deadly sick but had come out the other side. My ass was pounding, and my throat still swollen. I then aimed my eyes at my fathers flaccid cock that was hanging right beside my face. It was the first time I had been able to properly look at it during the nights events. The smell was distinct, sweaty and musky. My dad noticed me looking at it, and he grabbed it and started rubbing it agains my face, softly. It was the first thing he had done with any sort of tenderness or carefulness all night, which made me relax a little, confident that he did not intend on raping me any more tonight. Dad then put the tip of his cock against my mouth, and slowly I took it between my lips and started to suck it. I'm not sure why. I'm not sure if I did it because I wanted to, or that I did it because he made me do it. I just know that I sucked on it for a long time that night, and if not at first, then later, it started to feel actually *comforting*.
Closing words: This nights events were obviously some of the most pivotal and defining events of my life, for good or ill, and I will carry them with me forever. I'm not sure if I regret it, atleast not completely. Was I right in my diary that this was something that *needed to happen* even if it turned out to be genuinely traumatic? I think it did. Nothing ever happened to this degree between my Dad and I ever again. However, from this day forward we actually grew much closer, if you can believe it. Yes, we've been intimate with eachother many times after, but the word "rape" was never spoken between us again. I think getting this off my chest is both terapeutic and arousing for me, and I hope someone else will read and enjoy it as well.