The Masturbation Challenge and Jokes

m88
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Think of the hottest things and masturbate without stopping and see how long you can last. I've gone 30 minutes before, but generally I only last 2 or 3 minutes without stopping. Post in the comments how long you lasted... even if you only last 1 minute. Even watch porn, and see how long you can go without stopping.

Ladies generally last much longer than men, so this challenge is for guys mostly, but ladies feel free to try too.

Porn makes me cum so fast, so maybe just think of sexy things, the hottest things you can think of and masturbate without stopping and see how long you last and then post in the comments how long you went for without Cumming...

That's what she said, lol. Ok... and go... and have fun doing it... hehe ;)

Also, post in the comments how

If you've ever been caught mastubating before..

One time I was on vacation camping and someone walked in on me masturbating in the shower. Lol yeah...

Another time I was jacking off at my friend's house and his mom walked in on me while I was sleeping over. Lol

If you have any stories about getting caught masturbating, post them in the comments.

There's also been times where I walked in on someone masturbating.. lol late at night my brother was in the basement and was watching porn on the computer and I went downstairs and caught him.

F**k me if I'm wrong,

but isn't your name

Laura?

Hey Baby! I'd like to use

your thighs as

earmuffs.

You might not be the

best looking girl here,

but beauty is only a

light switch away.

Are you from Iraq?

'Cause I like the way

you Baghdad ass up.

Your breasts remind

me of Mount Rushmore

- my face should be

among them.

Hey baby, I think you

just made my two by

four into a four by

eight.

Is that a keg in your

pants? Because I'd love

to tap that ass.

Hey cutie, wanna go

halves on a baby?

You can call me cake,

cause I'll go straight to

your ass.

Are you hungry? Cause

omelette you suck this

dick.

Do you like pudding?

Cause I'll be pudding

this dick in your ass.

Can I read your t-shirt

in braille?

Do you know your

ABC's? Cause I wanna

give you the 4th letter

of the alphabet.

I'll give you a nickel if

you tickle my pickle.

You are so selfish!

You're going to have

that body the rest of

your life and I just

want it for one night.

Just remember: To

you, I am a virgin.

What's the speed limit

of sex? [what?] 68.

Because at 69 YOU

have to turn around!

I'm an astronaut and

my next mission is to

explore Uranus.

I'm like a Rubik's Cube,

the more you play with

me the harder I get!

What's the difference

between a Ferrari and

an erection? I don't

have a Ferrari.

Hi, do you want to

have my children? [No]

OK, can we just

practice then?

A Penis Study

In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give the Woman more pleasure during sex. The University of Wisconsin, unsatisfied with these findings, spent $13.27 (for a Playboy, Penthouse, and a case of Old Milwaukee) and concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

New Joke

A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."

She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.

He says "well, pussy and bitch".

She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."

He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.

Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she cant handle them. What are the words?"

He tells him...pussy and bitch.

Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy."

"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"

"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."

New Joke

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

That's it for now, but seriously, try the masturbation challenge and post in the comments how long you lasted.

— The End —

Adults only (18+). All stories are user-submitted fiction.